What if the way you communicated with your spouse or
significant other directly affected their health and well-being. Are you communicating mindfully?
My husband was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease over twelve years ago at
the age of 21. Crohn's
disease is an inflammatory bowel disease which causes inflammation of the
lining of your digestive tract and although stress doesn’t cause Crohn’s it
does however make symptoms worse and may trigger flare-ups. Now let’s break down what exactly that means for both my
husband and I, and our marriage as a whole.
Simply put, stress makes my husband sick, very sick, hospital sick, and
in order to cope with this we have had to learn different techniques to not
only deal with stress but more importantly avoid stress all together.
The most effective technique that we have implemented
into our lives is Mindful Communication.
communication means to listen and speak with compassion, kindness and
awareness. In order to engage in
effective communication using mindfulness, we have to listen mindfully and
speak mindfully. Easy enough,
right? Here are some tips to help.
Cultivating Mindful Listening
Clear your head of any thoughts that are occupying your
mind. Clear your hands of any devices
that are occupying your fingers. Don’t
look at your feet or a spot on the wall.
When someone is talking to you, look into their eyes. It shows that you care about them and that
they have your 100% attention.
We all know the saying about assuming, so just don’t do
it. If the person says something that
you don’t understand and you need clarification, don’t assume but rather ask
them to clarify their statement. Just be
sure to come from a place of compassion.
Cultivating Mindful Speech
1)Pause, Breathe and Respond
When responding to either a question or comment, don’t
just immediately start talking. Pause,
breathe and then respond. Be LESS
reactive and MORE responsive. It’s
amazing what this one little technique can do!
2) Be Honest
The best thing you can do for yourself is to be
yourself. That means speaking your
truth. This doesn’t mean that you have
to be mean or rude. You can speak your
truth with compassion and kindness.
Cultivating a Mindful Relationship
1)Lose the Ego
This isn’t a competition or a battle to be won. This is your significant other and although
you may not see eye to eye right now, ultimately the end goal is the same.
2)Be Gracious and Grateful
Too often we focus on the negative. You love this person; seek out the good in
them and in the relationship that you’ve built together. Seek it out, write it down and TELL them,
over and over again. Gratitude can
cultivate some pretty amazing things. My husband and I quickly learnt about the importance of 'picking our battles'; pick the wrong battle and communicate it poorly and you'll hear his gut grumble from across the room. The physical effects of stress on my husband's body are immediate and severe. But Crohn's or not, stress that's left unchecked can contribute to long term health problems, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, diabetes and short term problems such as headaches, insomnia, and indigestion.
So let me ask you again, knowing now that the way you communicate
with your spouse or significant other directly affects their health and
well-being, are you communicating mindfully?
My wedding day was perfect. We forgot the marriage license at my parents house, along with our flowergirl's dress shoes and very beautiful (and expensive) angel wings. During our outdoor ceremony there was a skateboard competition blaring punk music throughout the entire park. As we recited our vows you could faintly hear a blink 182 song play over the skatepark's sound system.
It's all a matter if perspective...
We signed a fake license (and the real one later that evening) and had a good giggle. Our flower girl was beautiful, neon pink sandals and all. I love Blink 182.
Our wedding day was perfect... It's all a matter of perspective.
Wow! Exactly 1 year ago I officially launched the first ever Mindful Kids series. 12 months later and nearly a thousand students under my belt, never in my wildest dreams did I think MK would grow into what it is today. I am so grateful.
Not only will 2013 be filled with more classes, but this year I will be offering workshops, retreats and training programs!!
I have made a conscious decision to continue to focus Mindful Kids privately, to continue to provide small group classes for both children and parents, and to offer both private and semi-private sessions to those that need it most (both in person and via skype). We, as a society, are at a pivotal point with our children and NOW is the time. Kids are overwhelmed by their busy schedules and they are having a hard time coping. They are finding it increasingly difficult to “calm down” and “pay attention”, and as a result their self-esteem is at an all-time low. Mindful Kids take you from chaos to clarity, creating calm, confident and focused kids. The next series starts the second week of January. Register early to avoid disappointment.
I am looking for comments, feedback and testimonials for my new website. Be a part of this Mindful Movement and send me your testimonials!
Please email your comments, feedback and testimonials about this program to email@example.com or put together a family package and I would be more than happy pick it up. Children's quotes and drawings are also welcome.
Registration IS Open
Hard to believe that we are in our last week of Mindful Kids. Wow!
Registration for the next Mindful Kids series opens THIS WEDNESDAY! BUT early registration is available to PAST AND PRESENT Mindful Families NOW. Classes are $120.00 and run for 6 weeks. Monday’s classes run from January 7th – February 11th and Wednesday’s classes run from January 9th – February 13th.
Abraham Erb P.S. after school pick up is available.
Payment plans are now available email firstname.lastname@example.org for more info.
And as always, please feel free to pass this along to anyone whom you see fit. Your continued support is always appreciated. Thank you.
Have an amazing holiday!
Relax and take time to really truly enjoy the simple things in life.
The Mindful Kids Movement www.blue-bamboo.ca
646 Wild Ginger Ave.